As you go through life, among other things like competency, empathy, money, you realize how developing a healthy sense of self is of paramount importance. We tend to focus on developing skills and traits that help us be a better human to others, but we need to focus on being a better friend, confidant, ally to oneself too.

One such realizations in my journey of self development is how it is fair for you to take as much space as you want. It is not just about literal space, though that matters to.

We once had an activity in our dance class where a group of around twenty people are walking around the dance floor without stopping or bumping into each other. Like a swarm of flies in a bottle is how our instructor described our movement should be. And the area to walk progressively gets lesser and lesser. Eventually you have everyone moving in a space as large as a bathroom.

After awkward bumps, few pushes, we finally ended the activity. Later my instructor gave the feedback on how I was literally curling my shoulders inward to not take up space. She did an impression of my walk and it looked both funny and surprising how I didn’t even realize I was doing that. Once we all of us got our respective feedback, the second time, we all flowed between each other like birds swaying with their wings around obstructions.

Their began my journey of understanding space, posture and how we constrict or expand ourselves based on situations.

It taught me how to be comfortable with my own body and take the space I need without apologizing.

Of course you are not going to infringe on someone else’s space but that doesn’t mean you have to diminish yourself.

In the larger context, I feel taking up space also means showing up as your authentic self. Even in situations or places where showing up might not be easy. It could mean going to that event alone where only groups have turned up. Or holding space and being comfortable with the sadness lurking when a friend is crying.

You firmly and gracefully stand your ground.

Everyone has space in this world to just be and flourish. A flower along the sidewalk doesn’t apologize for the space it takes, it blooms and withers when its time. Taking as much space when and where it needs, and gently fading away.

Give yourself the permission to be seen fully and in all your splendidness.