deepcontemplator

thinking deeply about things that matter

Tag: reading

  • The secret to reading more books

    The secret to reading more books

    Inspired by the book Show your Work!, I have started to post images of the books I am reading. Another advantage of having physical books is that they lend well to photographs too! 🙂

    On one such post, a friend asked me how do I manage to read.

    One aspect is about finding time in your life to read. But in this post I want to highlight another aspect which keeps me coming back to reading.

    Reading can at times become difficult, especially if you are stuck with a not so interesting book! Life happens and you can lose touch of reading, and it can be difficult to get back.

    One trick which helps in such scenarios is to be surrounded by books!

    That doesn’t necessarily mean having a library overflowing with books, but always have a To read book pile.

    I usually read one book at a time, but have 3-4 books in the queue. And always looking around for new ones. The never ending pile acts as a forcing function to get back to reading. After all you have spent money on buying those books, or have to return the books to the library unread. Making loss aversion work for you. 🙂

    And if you get bored with the current book you are reading, you can always look around the next set to get a peek of what’s coming! It helps make reading exciting and hopefully long lasting.

    So maybe use this tactic next time. Having a pile of unread books lying around. Not to signal shame of something incomplete, but the opportunity to venture into unexplored worlds hidden in those books!

  • Should you say Yes, or No?

    Should you say Yes, or No?

    Self help literature usually asks you to say No to things by default, to avoid burnout and save your energy for things that really matter. But like any other maxim, it leads itself to over simplification.

    So I was pleasantly surprised when Atul Gawande (whose book Being Mortal I greatly admire), asked us to say yes until we are 40 in this podcast.

    This got me thinking on how saying yes, within limits and based on how much you can chew at a moment has its merits

    You become more open minded
    By saying yes, you allow serendipity and surprise to enter your life. Saying yes does not have to be anything big like a long online course. Even little things like a social event which you would normally skip, or a last minute booking for a theatre play can open up new ways of thinking.

    You understand your limits
    Just following along with many things will eventually expose your hard limits or attributes which you weren’t aware of. Such moments where you hit a bummer, if channeled and processed correctly can be a great opportunity to understand yourself better.

    You create space for new things
    To take on something new, you need to forgo something present or put it on the backburner. It means you have to critically look at your resources (time, energy and finances). Even if you end up declining the offer, it forces you to rethink whether you are using your resources for things that matter to you.

    You choose to say yes, mindfully
    By stepping up and choosing to lean into opportunities which interest you, you are signaling to yourself that you are making a choice and committing to something. There are times and perhaps areas in life where you won’t have much choice, like staying-in during a pandemic.

    But when you say yes, You are making the choice and you get to keep the promise you made to yourself.

    Saying yes doesn’t mean you need to follow through even after you discover information countering it.

    You gain a better understanding of your range, solidify your values and make your drive stronger for things which really matter.

  • Influence is your superpower – Book Review

    Having influence in your life is such an important skill. Throughout my growing years I always assumed that I didn’t matter much and hence couldn’t exert any influence whatsoever. However later I realized whether you know it or not, you always have some influence.

    With that preamble, you can imagine how happy I was to read Influence is your superpower – Zoe Chance.

    When the subtitle said – “How to get what you want without compromising who you are”, I wanted to gobble the contents in an instant!

    Overall the book is a great guide in understanding, nurturing and embracing being an influential person. It does deliver what it promises and I had multiple Aha moments as I went through the book.

    There are many points in the book, which resonated with me deeply which I intend to cover as part of upcoming posts. For now, I wanted to list the biggest takeaways –

    1. The power to say NO
      We hear it a lot, but yet we keep giving away free yes’es in a variety of situations and to various people. You end up being stretched thin and everyone loses finally. The book makes a passionate case as to why you are well in your right to say no and choose yourself. If you have a history of people pleasing like me, saying no would mean internally you imagine yourself ruining their plans, dreams and their world! But it doesn’t have to be so dramatic. As Zoe says, when you say a No, “Be warm, clear and firm”.
      And move on.
    2. Ask
      This was a big eye opener for me. The simple act of asking for what you want. You can skirt around the bush and drop all types of signs and hints. You are then left despairing how the world is filled with people who just don’t seem to have the capacity to process your unsaid needs and desires. The message is clear and direct here – “Ask more often, ask more directly, and ask for more”.
    3. You can always negotiate
      This is a huge one as well. Firstly just understanding what negotiations even are. It aren’t always those big board room meetings. It could be just who among your friends will end up traveling the most for the lunch meetup. For me the biggest takeaway here was “Negotiation is always possible”
      I had kind of started to realize this after I heard how people had negotiated home loan rates (apparently they are) , or stuck a deal with their spouse to attend that party alone, or even just traded for a better looking set of goodies at birthday party! So always remember, can this be made better so that everyone gains more? Point noted.

    I am glad I read this book and sure that there are lessons which will distill slowly and organically. This book will definitely be among my top reading recommendations.

    Lets use our influence skills to dream bigger and better as Zoe closes off her book.

    Overall rating – 5/5

  • On reading

    On reading

    One rainy evening in Bengaluru, we were in a special English class for GRE preparation, waiting for rains to subside so that we could leave. The English teacher, who we all adored, dusted off the chalk from her notes and sat down on her chair and started speaking casually. Like how a tired mother done with all the chores at the end of the day would sit with her kids to speak.

    She said

    I hope you all pick up the habit of reading. Not because it will give you a good vocabulary and help you score higher in the exam. But, as you start reading, you realize that you are becoming a better person.

    Until then though I had multiple false starts trying to pick up reading as a habit and the motivation was always directed outwards – To show others that I am a reader too. To get into the smart people read club.

    But after hearing what she said that day, which to even this date I keep thinking of, I think reading became a more inward directed activity. And I began to identify myself as a reader. Of course reading can be still be sometimes a show of vanity, with the undeclared competition which happens over Goodreads feed with your reading friends.

    But what my teacher said that day is true. From that day (close to 12 years ago) I have read more than 100 books. And I don’t know if I can certify myself to be a better person now! But I am definitely a much more rounded and well informed person, and a part of it can be credited to my habit of reading.

    Reading fiction helps you get into the psyche of people totally different than you in terms of their circumstance, life stage or background. It makes you more empathetic and in general more warm to all kinds of people out there.

    I read a lot of non-fiction as well. They give you great perspectives on different viewpoints and many are distillations of the works of luminaries over almost their entire lifetime.

    There is an oft-quoted

    The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.

    If you have the time, opportunity, privilege and inclination to read, then I ask you to give it a try. And like my English teacher said that rainy day, maybe it will change you, for the better! 🙂

  • Charm of reading physical books

    Charm of reading physical books

    One of the many things which has got upended by digitalization is the concept of physical books. In the age of mobile phones and kindles, people still sticking to read from a physical book is dwindling. It might well be on the same path as newspapers. As apps overtake the news market, newspaper which once was essential in every house, has no longer been able to retain that position.

    A mobile phone or kindle has lots of benefits when it comes to reading. You can stuff literally thousand of books in one tablet, read through the night, carry it around easily on your travels, not have to worry about charging frequently. But the charm of physical books remain.

    Physical books not only serve to the intellect but the tactile feedback of holding a book and flipping through the pages cannot be delivered by an electronic device. As humans, paper is one medium which we have been making, writing on, reading from and creating. Vicky Tan, a designer at Spotify, mentions in this podcast how paper is a versatile medium which has been associated with humans from historical times.

    The act of reading a physical book can also be seen as a signaling mechanism that you are not frivolously whiling away your time on screen! If you want children to pick up reading, then probably one of the things is that they should see others, specially their parents reading books as well.

    And having a stack of books, though unfinished gives a visual reminder of all that knowledge which has been left unexplored!.